Wes Sims is awesome.

Most MMA n00z is kind of boring, kind of about lots of financial stuff, or the yakuza. Once in a while, the gods of MMA will bestow upon us Wes Sims, the Human Genome Project himself, and something completely inane. I bring forth, from MMA on Tap, Wes Sims, Vigalante.

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“Thursday night I was laying in bed and I heard some banging so I went outside and took a look but I didn’t see anything so I went back in and I thought it might just be the neighbours, domestic issues. But the people who live next door, they lay flooring so they have a couple of trucks they keep out by the road that are full of tools so I thought, “hey, someone might be breaking into their truck.” but that wasn’t the case.

So I went back in and layed down and I heard a big bang and glass break so I went out, looked out across the road and guys were down at the gas station breaking in. They were gonna rob the place until their plans were foiled by Wes Sims that is.

I called the police and told the police that there was some guys breaking in and they told me they had already received a call and they were on their way. I told the dispatch that these guys were on their way out of there so you know I don’t know what posessed me to take off but I hung my phone up and took off running after them.

I chased them down an alley and all of a sudden cops started coming up the alleys and they were all everywhere. I ran one guy down, caught one of them and the cop came running up to cuff him and well when the cop went to cuff him the guy was fighting and the cop said if he didn’t calm down he was going to mace him. Well Wes Sims wanted to see a good macing so he said, “Mace him! Mace him!” which turned out to be bad for all of us because I got mace, the guy got maced and the wind blew it back into the cops face too.

The guy took off running and had glasses on and the cop started chasing him but I had to clean my eyes out for a minute there because that was some nasty, nasty stuff. I saw the cop was chasing him so I took off running and was chasing behind then the officer had to stop because the mace was in his eyes real bad so the guy jumps over a fence and was running. He had nothing but socks and boxers on at this point because I had ripped his clothes off. I chased him down, got him in the dirt, slammed him off a fence, needless to say I’m not going to go into detail but let’s just say when the cops came up to cuff him, he needed service, not Wes Sims.”

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Speechless